Friday, November 5, 2010


I still remember my first day at yukti. I saw many girls sitting together. I found my seat and sat in a corner, not speaking with anyone, took out a notebook and started writing something. Then in break went to all these girls, talked a little. Then studies in our coaching caught a pace and we all also started running with it. But in break times there was no one who can beat us girls at noise level ;) Slowly we all became quite close friends, whether it was test, home work or what so ever; we all used to sail in the same boat. But little did I know that out of these girls TANVI will be my one of my besties.

Initially we both were not so good friends, but yea she was the one who knew me very well out of everyone. The look on my face used to tell her that am in something real bad and she was the one who could easily catch my sadness or happiness just by reading my msgs, even though I don’t want to tell. She was the one who could easily catch the spark in my voice.

The time when I really required some one to be on my side in months of April and May, she was the one who stood by me and told, “Don’t worry dear am here with you, to listen to all your stupid or serious problems!!!” Whenever I needed her, she was just a phone call or msg away. She is a friend whom I won’t hesitate to call up even at odd hours.  Even after our coaching class got over, she was the one who stayed in contact with me. We never left a chance to hangout. Thanks to her that I met many other wonderful people- Surabhi, Pooja, Aditya, Naveen.

I wasn’t this strong, but thanks to her who taught me how to cope up with every situation, how to judge people, how to leave back small problems and move on in life. And she is the one who inspired me to start writing my own blog.

But it always happens with me, that the person dearest to me always have to go away leaving me. She also leaving India on 13th or 14th Nov and going abroad for her studies.

I’m gonna miss you badly dear and all my wishes are with you.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


P.S. Frnds, dis is jst d same prev post written in poem form on insistance of my frnd and its my first attempt to write a poem

Its keeps on going with me, where ever I go !!
It follows me everywhere
Even after trying so hard
Cant get it out of me !!

Hoping that someday, somehow
That world of my dreams will come
Back to me !!

It keeps on going with me !!
In form of fragrance, words or memories..
I'm completely out of it,
But still totalyy in it !!

Still holding on...
Still some hopes left...
Dunno why ???

It says to me, "Dont fall into me so much
Am just gonna hurt you more 'n' more..."

Then why do I consider it,
WHY ??

And now, my trust in everything has gone...
Fearing that I'll again start considering
And again it'll go away !!!

Now it doesnt hurt anymore,
Not because I've forgotten,
Just because I'm tired !!!

But inside somewhere...
Still holding on...
Still some hopes left...
Dunno why ???

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


It keeps on going with me where ever I go. It follows me everywhere I go. Even after trying so hard cant get it out of me !! People are with me, but I'm somewhere else, in my world, in my dreams !! Thinking, that world will come to me somehow, someday. People are around me but I'm still alone.

That something follows me, whether its in form of words, fragrance, memories or what so ever. I'm completely out of it, I'm no where in it but its totally in me. Still holding on, still some hopes left !! It says to me "TAKE ME OUT OF YOU. DONT FALL INTO ME SO MUCH, AM JUST GONNA HURT U MORE 'N' MORE..."

Then why do I consider it MY WORLD, MY EVERYTHING ?? And now my trust in everything has gone... Fearing that I'll again start considering something my world and it will again go, leaving me alone in pain. As if it doesnt pain, as if am not a human being...

The only thing that it has taught me is to keep on a fake smile and pretending as if it doesnt hurt !! Am thankful to it that it made me strong enough and clever enough not to trust anyone blindly...

And now I dont cry anymore, its not because I have forgotten everything, its just because am tired of crying over it... Now I smile, hiding my tears behind my smile !!!

Monday, September 20, 2010



That feeling is just so amazing. THE FEELING OF GETTING WET IN THE FIRST RAIN. If u want to actually experience the magic of rainy season and its essence, the real place for it is MUMBAI… This city looks even more beautiful in rains. And the atmosphere is just awesome. U feel as if u are on some hill station. Its all kind of misty everywhere. Those hot corns and vada pav in cold weather, simply yum!!

This season looks even more romantic and beautiful in Mumbai. Its all green around you, small white streams of water falling from high hills. It does feel like u are in some heaven. Looking at the waves smashing on the rocks, sky all covered with black clouds which give them a different kind of view… All color mixed up, purple, orange, red… and can’t miss the city line merging with sea…  Doesn’t this sound beautiful and just awesome…?

Walking on the streets, be it your friends or your partner and just feeling the rain makes this season even more beautiful. The best place to sit and enjoy the rains is
Marine Drive
. You can view tall buildings standing on one side and the cloudy sky above it.

I know other then having this beautiful part of rainy season, it also has a dangerous side which Mumbai has already seen. Who can forget the 26/7 tragedy? But here I just wanted to highlight its beautiful part.

Well now its almost the end of rains and am gonna miss them… But just last time want to spread my arms and feel it before it goes…

Sunday, September 12, 2010


I still remember month May and June... How difficult they were, for me and my parents. All hopes were drained out of me regarding my career, studies everything. But still keeping my mind strong I kept on believing that “It’s just a phase and it’s soon gonna get over.” Even my mom had some hope that I’ll land up some where which is good for me. But my dad he wasn’t really happy with me. We both didn’t talk to each other properly for almost one month.

He wanted me to perform well in engineering exams and that is where I failed in living up to his wishes. But I was never able to tell him that “Dad it’s not what I want to do. Engineering was not really my thing.” But every time I tried to explain this to my dad I failed. Then after I realized the actual fear inside him. He just wanted a better and comfortable life for me, because he knows what it takes to reach a higher level. He just wanted me to survive in this world of competition. He himself struggled alot to reach where he is right now and didnt want to see that struggle in my life.

But by the time I realized this, it was too late. But some where there was still a ray of hope in my life. It was the field of architecture. So finally I decided that COME WHAT MAY, but this time I won’t let my dad down. And at last I did it, I did clear architecture entrance exam. That was the time when my dad again started believing in me.

All problems were solved and that ray of hope was now sun shine and its brightness was clearly seen on my parents faces… I brought that smile back on their faces and that was it… I felt so happy with myself…

And now I promise to myself that I won’t ever let it fade….


Friday, September 3, 2010


MOVE ON… This is what people generally say to the person who is going through a bad time. “MOVE ON, THAT WAS PAST... LET IT GO AND THINK ABOUT FUTURE…” It’s so easy for those people to say who have never gone through it. But do they really understand what that person must be really going through. Holding on to some special and beautiful memories can be really painful at times.

It’s more miserable when you are confused about what you feel and you are not able to explain it to anyone… EVEN TO YOURSELF… You are not sure what you want to do with those memories… Forget them or keep them in some corner of your heart..?? And you keep on asking to yourself “WAS THAT GOOD, WAS THAT BAD...? WAS IT WORTH THAT MUCH…?” And at the end you come up with absolutely no answers…

During this time you really need some one who can be with you and help you. But what if that person is really far from you and there no ways you can be together. It becomes even more painful. You are simply not able to concentrate on any thing and keep on getting more and more vulnerable to those feelings. Days become simply miserable. Your mind keeps on saying “LET IT GO!!” and your heart saying “BUT IT’S NOT THAT EASY DUDE!!”
One day u decide to kill all that feelings inside you and promise to yourself never falling into it ever again. But the other day u wake up finding yourself at the same cross roads. Keeping that fake smile and pretending to move on, but that pain keeps on eating u inside and you are not able to show it to any one. You are full of mixed emotions- LOVE, HATE, CONFUSION, HAPPY, SAD… All together it’s simply frustrating.
Saying "I dont care anymore.." and the other moment saying "You do care, you stupid !!". Stopping for a while and seeing around, you realise there are so many great things, but then it seems so incomplete. You keep on trying to fill that empty space by various things, but unsuccessful...
People around you are happy, trying to make you happy and smile... But everything seems so worthless with that incomplteness in your life. They say whatever happens, happens for a good reason. But you find absolutely nothing thats good about this pain.

Monday, August 30, 2010


MUMBAI- City of dreams, City of lives, City full of spirits……

I remember coming in this city in April 2006. I came from Kolkata. And I still remember how much I revolted against coming to Mumbai because I do not wanted to leave the beautiful city of Kolkata and come into this MEAN MEAN CITY… That was the image of Mumbai on my mind... But that was what fate had for me... Had to come here… But at that time didn’t know how beautiful life would be here…

After coming into this city another step was taking admission in school. KENDRIYA VIDYALYA, MANKHURD… Yea that was the name of my school. When I first went to take my adm in school, still remember, some accident took place in Vashi Gaon and driver said that we can’t go from this side because of some nuisance. I was like if starting is like this God knows what will happen further… Then somehow reached the school, and at that time didn’t know that I will be spending 4 yrs in it which will have so many things in surprise for me…
Then time started flying away… Even I started running with fast paced life of Mumbai... Never realized how and when I got used to it… But seriously life was horrible at the starting… People around were terrible, mean, ruthless, selfish… It was tough time coping up… But only one thing was on track MY STUDIES

It took me two damn years to settle down with everything… Finally decided to leave the school coz that was the only reason I hated Mumbai so much… Thanks to certain people… Finally decided to leave the school but something struck me and I turned away the thought of leaving it…. And little did I know that it would be correct decision…
Stepped into two most beautiful years of my life… Class 11th starting was not good but I didn’t know what waited for me ahead… As it proceeded, came in touch with many good friends… Then came a special person in my life who actually made me fall in love with Mumbai… Class 12th was even better then 11th …
And am still thankful to that person who made me realized apart from some people there were quite beautiful things about this city… I was never familiar with the better part of this city… This city can teach u all the important lessons of your life and make u independent… The other thing that made me fall for this city is its HIGH SPIRITS… Whatever happens, however big happens, this city never stops and that’s very beautiful lesson for life…
It’s almost four and a half years staying in this city but has learned so many things about life, about people and everything…. And now don’t wanna leave this city…

LOVE U MUMBAI.........

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Mother, Mom, Mamma, Ma -Just take a while from your busy schedule, sit back and think.. Do we really understand the real meaning behind these words. And the answer is "NO". Because we wont ever understand it.

But there are two words which can describe her and they "SELFLESS LOVE". To be frank no one in this world does anything for anyone without any expectations, but she does everything without expecting anything.

She wakes up in the morning, when everyone else is asleep does her work and goes to bed after completing her work and seeing that everyone's things are done. We fight with her endless times, but at the end of the day, she is the one to whom we are gonna go with all our problems. She just gives a hug and everything seems so perfect in this world.

She never waits for Childrens' Day to shower her love on us then why do we, all of a sudden, shower loads of love on her on Mothers' Day... She helps us out in hiding our notorious deeds from our dad. ;) The thing that really hurts me is we never become an option in her priority list, then why does she becomes an option at times.

I still remember the day when me and my mom met with an accident. I was in class 4th or 5th. We were coming back from my computer classes and a cow blocked our way and scooty got unbalanced. She balanced the scooty on one leg and told me to get down. But after this she got a fracture in her foot. I still remember how much i cried that night.

This was just one sacrifice i mentioned but there are lots of things which she does for us and sadly we never notice them.

Just once in a while, hug her and tell "I LOVE YOU MOM" and see the spark in her eyes......

Monday, August 16, 2010


Few days ago just was watching "Rang De Basanti". In that Madhavan said that "No country is perfect, we have to make it perfect". And this really depends on the youth of our country. To change anything, we first need to change ourselves and our point of view towards anything. Todays' youth, i.e. "US", wants to change, but its the system that keeps on coming in between. People say that to change the system, we have to be in the system. But the ral problem is people of our country are so allergic to change. They are just so used to everything. It really doesnt matter to them.

For Example:"METER JAM" campaign conducted on 12th of August and by THE YOUTH. They decided to boycott rickshaws and taxis, but there were quite a less number of people who actively participated in it. Because it really doesnt matter to them as far as their comfort is not disturbed. We need to change our attitude and that is not thinking for oneself but for everyone...

We really cant blame our system because above all its our fault. Just by burning candles and taking out rallies doesnt mean anything because that "JOSH" remains for sometime and eventually everthing fades off. My question is WHY.. WHY PEOPLE BECOME SO ADAPTED AND ADJUSTED TO EVERYTHING ?? WHY THEY DONT DARE TO CHANGE ANYTHING THEY FEEL IS WRONG ??? Sitting on a couch and blaming everyone is very easy but being in the system, making our hands dirty for everyones good is very difficult.

This topic has exactly no perfect conclusion, because at the end there is not a single person to blame but a whole lot of people and that includes everyone... ME, YOU and EVERY SINGLE PERSON OUT THERE...